He Has Done a Beautiful Thing For Me

Matthew 26:10

"Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing for me."

No, my Gentle Shepherd, it is You who has done a beautiful thing for ME. Remember our chat upon  entering "that" city? Do you remember what they looked like - the cesspool of emotions awaiting my return?

You: Go ahead, talk to them.

Me: Really? 

You: Yes. It's OK. Go. Talk.

I can't believe I'm facing them. Feeling His gentle touch on my back, I start weeping. He's telling me it's OK. He's there. I look back into His eyes one more time and take a deep breath. I start talking to them. One by one by one.

"Hello, loneliness, I left you here and I've returned. I need to talk to You. You need to hear my voice. I didn't know how to handle you before. I didn't know how to deal with you. I didn't have words. I have them now. I no longer wish to be enslaved by your presence. I choose to no longer be controlled by your constant threatening cloud. I am safe and secure, NEVER alone. I choose to no longer hide behind your despairing walls, thinking myself a coward. I choose to walk confidently hand in hand with my Saviour. And now to you, loneliness, I say goodbye."

Me: How did I do? 

You: You did great. Keep going. There's more.

So I stood a little taller and faced them. 

"Hello fear, you've been waiting for me a while, even set up camp at the border of the city. "

"Hello nervous anxiety, hello worry, hello panic, hello anger, hello bitterness, hello indecisiveness, hello ill-at-ease, discomfort, heavy hearted one, depression, sadness, cheerlessness, joyless one. Hello moodiness, discouraging one, unhappiness."

"Hello hurt. You were a big one. You crept into a church and caught me by surprise. You broke my heart. I was crushed. I have agonized over what happened with you. I no longer wish to suffer at your hands. The Hands I now hold are caring, restful, healing Hands." 

I pause, breathe, and glance.

You: There are more.

Me: Um, nope. I don't think so, that just about covers it.

You: There are more. Keep looking.

He nudges me forward. I look. It's not clear. It's fuzzy. He hugs me. He holds me. The more securely He hangs on the more I notice my grip has loosened. I'm falling weakly to the ground. He's got me, and it's a good thing. My strength is gone. It's zapped by what I now clearly see around the corner. There they stand, hand in hand as best friends. My body may be weak, but I have not lost my voice. I am so closely held now that I feel the power and steady rhythm of His heart beating.

"Performance, performance, performance. You and your law could be so much fun at times, a blast. Anywhere I went with you brought festivity and animation. You enamored me with all the affirmation I received by following you. You talked me into a few roles I did not want, and you even
cast me for characters in plays that did not match the real, unique me. But I had to perform. The show must go on, right? We didn't want to disappoint anyone. And that's when you introduced me to your sidekick, conditional love. "

"Conditional love, I am so very, very glad that I get to say goodbye to you today. I am pleased to announce that you have officially been replaced. You NEVER satisfied the hole in my soul. You never inspired me. I was not content with you. I was quite uncomfortable. You never inquired about the real me. The real me never fascinated you. You were not concerned about me, you were concerned about my relationship with your BFF, performance. Well, we now have parted ways. Time for me to say the same to you, Goodbye."
I'm standing on my feet. I'm smiling. He's smiling, too!
Me: Thank You, Unconditional Love. You: Now, go in peace.
And today I offer the peace back to Him as an offering of praise!